One Week ago...

give or take a day and some hours, Sedona Rae was born. She's been with us new parental beings and we're loving every minute of it.

Rule #1: The stuff you thought you knew don't mean diddly, and the stuff you knew you knew means little more. I though this baby thing was going to be a breeze. Sedona would pop out and "blam" I would be blessed with the requisite knowledge for baby and "tada", I would be the greatest father that ever lived. Except that didn't happen, "whah whah Wahhhhh". I just did what came natural. Sit and stare...and hope, and pray. Thank the great Lord above that my mom is here to guide us on our new journey. There have been many a time where I was slightly confused at my predicament. There is only one predicament for those who haven't been here. Make the crying baby stop, it seems simple enough. Now I know. There are 3 things that make the crying baby stop. I'll set the stage for those who know but don't really know. Ok here goes.

Thing #1. Feed the baby..yes yes this is easy enough...but how much? Oh..there you go. Till she's full right? Yes but when is that? Well Sedona stops eating, is she full? No? Yes? Maybe? Turns out babies get kinda full with air...yes, yes, baby veterans I realize that now. Which takes us to Thing #2. Burp the baby, again common knowledge So you burp the baby...."BUUUURRRRRPPPPP" ok now what? Babies cryin, what to do what to do....ok well turns out you can continue with Thing #1. She's not full yet, she's makin more room. Kinda like at dinner when you eat and eat and get stuffed, then you burp and voila, room for dessert. Only this dessert is more formula. So you've fed the baby....burped the baby and shes now crying again. This can lead to Thing #3 which is check the lower half. Yes the diaper covered end. Rookies beware! This end is dangerous, not only is it dangerous it's connected to a mind that doesn't know, or care. Or maybe she does and is having a little "Look who's Talking" moment. That movie makes more sense now. Anyway, its dangerous I tell you, and an example I'll give to prove my point.

This very morning, well it's 1:30 here so yesterday morning anyway, Sarah and I were preparing to go to my doctor's appointment and were planning to be out the door at 7:00am. So before we go we had allotted ourselves enough time to feed Sedona and all the requisite things that come with that, and get her in her carrier and ready to rock. Sedona it seems had other plans. We were not to be leaving at the intended time. Sarah began changing what seemed like an innocuous pee diaper, And then it happened...the poop started coming out, coming out like a man made playdough factory. So she waited and the poop stopped. Wiped the important areas, moved the diaper and prepared to place new diaper in place....she must have forgotten to press the stop button on said playdough factory because a little green snake began making its way from the press. Out it came, enough to cover a baby wipe, what now...no diaper in place and its still coming out, for the love of God what now...it's still coming out and the couch is underneath the butt.....time to change out baby wipes By the way now Sarah is getting sprayed in the leg with pee..and the doodoo is still coming....its like a bad movie, The Day the Doodoo came. So 4 full green snake covered baby wipes later the madness finally stops. Sarah is laughing so hard because, well because she just got peed on really, and it's something that we never would have found funny a week ago. That folks is a fine example of Thing #3.
Lesson learned here. It's a baby, expect nothing, and embrace it, the baby that is. It's more fun than I ever would have thought, and it's worth every minute of all eight days that I've spent with her so far.


Ok, this covers Rule #1. I’ll cover Rule #2 next time. I have to figure out what Rule #2 is first but we’ll think of something creative. I have a million things that I want to write about but don’t want to make it 3 pages long. So I’ll wait till next time. Thanks for reading.

Here is your Blog Michelle.